The sucky fact of being a woman

I wish just once, a man would have to use a tampon. Not all day, that would just drive him completely over the edge of insanity. Just one tampon, rammed up his butt, just once. Of course, it would have to be one of those half-way dry days when you question whether you should use one at all. Men can’t even begin to imagine how getting your period is truly one thing that sucks about being a woman.

I didn't mind my period until I decided to stop being a reproducing human-being. We should be able to shut off the hose once the pool is filled. Instead, I have to live with my perfectly-tuned every-28-day cycle for another 10-to-15 year prison sentence. I'm tired of the cramps, the tears, the moodiness, the Doritos, the endless trips to the bathroom, and those damned tampons! Plus, as Maverick would agree in no uncertain terms, I become a bitch.

Furthermore, it sucks to be of the womanly-age that requires a mammogram. Talk about the cold chicken cutlet boobs! For those who have never enjoyed the delight of a mammogram, get ready for the panini press! Yes, girls, having your breasts checked for little bumps and lumps that harbour evil little cancer cells can be equated to watching a fat Italian man smashing up your tits on a hot panini press. Un cappuchino to go with that, senora?

Well that’s probably enough for now. I could fill this blog with so many other reasons but I think I’ll save them for a different post. I’m sure I’ve scared you young ‘uns away with that graphic description. You'll awaken with nightmares of the Italian guy chasing you with his George Forman grill. (Sorry girls. It’s the cold, hard facts about mammograms and someone’s gotta be honest.)

In the meanwhile, you tell me what one thing absolutely sucks about being a woman. Go ahead. I really want to know. Share. Let it out. It feels good!

Here's one from me: one good reason why being a woman is not sucky. It's the fact that we women have a wonderful ability to understand our own feelings, rationalize the "why" behind it, and create an action plan to solve it. Then we discuss it with our three closest friends. Modify based on their input. Vent it aloud. Afterwards, we feel better and say, “Yes, that feels good!” I’m glad I got that off my chest.