Just because it's a convenient time to call...

I'm in a mood right now, so bear with me. I have a simple statement to make about the phone and it goes a little something like this: Just because it's a convenient time for you to call, doesn't mean it's a convenient time for me to answer.

I get such shit from my friends because I'm terrible with the phone. That's me. Accept me, please, warts and all. I commute two hours a day and that's my phone time. Maverick will tell ya my cell phone bill is through the roof and I could support my shoe habit if I only laid off the cell.

I love to talk on the phone, really, but only between the hours of getting to work and driving home from work. So if you can't catch me then...try texting me.

Yes, sometimes I do hear you on my answering machine, calling out for me: "Tray, I know you're there; pick up the phone." But you have to understand that by the time I walk in door after being gone for almost twelve hours, walked into the insanity that exists with two screaming kids who are thrilled to see me, I've got to go to the bathroom, I've got to get these kids to bed, I'm starving; I'm tired; Mavrick's probably complaining about something I had forgotten to do that day; there's mail to read, previously a dog to walk and feed, and well, the last thing I feel like doing is talking on the phone.

That would require me to stop all of those things above and sit down to listen to what you have to say. And I want to hear what you have to say. I don't want to give you the "uh huh, uh huh" because what kind of friend would that be?

Sometimes I do answer the phone, even when I'm busy because I feel guilty; then I rush you off in sixty seconds anyway with a plea that I'll have to call you later...So what's the point of that?

Also, there's nothing more annoying than when I do sit down to talk and I've got to listen to your screaming kids in the background. So, there's another thing: please don't call me if you can't control your kids.

I don't mind the occasional "Dear, please put your dishes in the sink after you finish your snack". I'm talking about the girlfriends who can't finish a sentence or let me get my thought out before she interrupts sixteen times to reprimand a child who's grabbing the phone out of her hand or are such out-of-control lunatics that I just can't hear you on the other end.

Seriously, whatever you called about most likely isn't that important right that minute! Can't it just wait until 7am the next morning, while I'm on my way to Starbucks?