Remembering what's important on 9-11

Today is the "anniversary" of 9-11, the downing of the World Trade Center. It seems like only yesterday that I was pregnant with Maya, watching in horror, as the towers collapsed. It was so very sad, sitting in the office with my coworkers, eyes glued to the lunchroom TV as the events unfolded. I cried a lot that day.

Every year on this day, I try to take a moment to reflect on my life and all I am thankful for. It's not often I get a chance to do that. Life gets in the way. That's what I love so much about being in the woods. In the forest, there's no deadlines or carpools or things that demand my attention other than the immediate need to put one foot in front of the other and not trip over any fallen trees branches or loose rocks.

While in Pisgah National Forest, with packs on our backs, Maverick and I hiked up the mountain to Looking Glass Rock. It was drizzling ever-so-slightly. I called upon the rain gods to not rain any harder and spoil our day.

The drizzle and the gray skies kept the temperature low but the humidity clung to the wet forest leaves. I was thrilled to walk quietly through the woods, not seeing another human being. The woods were eerily silent. I thought about how the rainforest in Hawaii was eerily silent too. And Costa Rica. I never knew how silent the forest was before, probably because I never shut up then.

I love the silence now. There's something about a quiet forest. I can't put my finger on it, but its tranquility always has the same effect on me. It wills me to take a big cleansing breath in, hold it, and slowly release. Shuuu...It's peaceful among the quiet, wet wood.

It was the very same peacefulness I experienced practicing yoga on a Maui beach at sunrise. It washes over me when I take some time to just be. Not be a mom, or an errand runner, or a dog walker, boss or wife. Just be.

And in those rare moments of peace, those slivers of time of just being, I reflect upon how very lucky I am. Yes, I can bitch about my thighs or how my commute is sucking the life out of me on a daily basis. I can complain I'm a day late on your birthday card or a dollar short. And I do, I know. Thanks for listening.

But when I'm in those moments of clarity, and on days like today, I'm thankful for so many amazing people in my life. My family and my friends. My girls, of course. My happy, healthy life. But mostly for Maverick, my very best friend and truest love. Thanks for showing me the love...and the peace, baby.

Adventure Trip: Day 3

Today's survivor challenge was a hiking/biking combination at Dupont State Forest. The itinerary sounded easy after what we had done the past two days. I can hike. I can bike. No sweat. But I never took endurance into the mix of qualities one needs to hike and bike for more than six hours. By the end of the day, I felt like I had completed a decathlon. I think I did.

The hiking part was easy for me. This was originally what I wanted to do-- to set out with my pack and hike to the top of a mountain. I've done some hiking before but it's always felt like just a taste of what hiking is really like. I've gone on nice strolls through the forest. I wanted to seriously hike.

We set out on Rocky Ridge Trail. The first section was an easy path in the heavily wooded forest. I felt like running it. It looked like the perfect trail to do that but Joe, our guide, promised me the trail would get steeper and more difficult.

Eventually it did. We inclined rather steeply and the conversation quickly lapsed as we struggled for our breath. Maverick, who stated earlier he's not into vertical climbs after one we did just yesterday, followed behind me. Though I was also winded, I practically ran anyway. I played a mental game just to see how fast I could hoof it up. I had to maneuver around slippery, loose stones, protruding tree branches and other obstacles to weave my way up the path. At times, you wouldn't even know it was a path we were following.

All around us the forest was silent and the sunlight that filtered down through the canopy of leaves above us gave the air below a surreal glow. After some time, we came out of the woods into a beautiful meadow filled with wild flowers of every color.
We took the better part of the morning to hit the top of the mountain and we were rewarded with gorgeous views of the forest. All I could see around me was clear, blue skies and greenery everywhere.

On the way back down the mountain, once we got past the steepest part, I did in fact run it. I. ran over two miles downhill. It was absolutely exhilarating. It has to be one of my best runs ever. Not only did I do well on speed and endurance, but I also had the extra challenge of jumping over tree trunks and boulders while on my way. I sat near the car until the guys made it down themselves. Maverick was not thrilled with me running by myself. I could have been eaten by a bear. Or more likely, missed the right turns to get back to the car. Luckily, my wits helped me survive and find the right paths back. I knew I would. I am Adventure Girl.

We ate lunch afterwords, while I cooled down from my run. Joe set up our mountain bikes. I surveyed the bikes and realized I may have made an error in judgment with the run. For some reason, the biking portion of this trip didn't cross my mind when I made the decision to throw a run on top of an already challenging hike. Now I was expected to spend the afternoon mountain biking. Oops.

Maverick laughed at me. He was waiting for this activity. Mountain biking was what he was super-excited to do. Joe told me much of the biking was down hill today and we were going to reward ourselves by seeing some fabulous waterfalls. That perked me up and we hopped on our bikes and began the downward descent.

The biking portion was an absolute thigh killer but so much fun. It was exhilarating to fly down the mountain on a gravel path, whipping through the woods. Maverick was hopping over tree branches and jumping holes in the ground. I just kept myself focused on not falling over while we sped down the path. The gravelly paths were scary at high speeds, especially when a rock caught in the wheels and I would remind myself not to squeeze too hard on the front break, or I would flip over the front wheel.

We biked over twelve miles and saw a handful of gorgeous waterfalls. I never knew until this weekend that North Carolina is "the land of waterfalls". We saw a triple fall and a very wide fall that we climbed under. There were waterfall slides and more waterfalls. It was an absolutely wonderful day of exercise, adventure and scenery. I loved being in nature with no thoughts of anything other than the immediate beauty in front of me.

Adventure Trip: Day 2

Sunday morning in the damp, cold Pisgah Forest, I craned my neck upward at my morning task: It was a behemoth, 600-foot-tall slab of granite called Looking Glass Rock. I, Adventure Girl, planned to climb a portion of Looking Glass Rock. The idea was to use my hands and feet (which were clad in elfin-like rubber-soled rock climbing shoes), along with my guide Joe's verbal assistance actually climb this monstrosity with my own fortitude and a single rope to catch me if I fell.

After Canyoneering yesterday, I was ready to tackle any challenge. I woke up feeling fantastic and charged. But standing at the base of the rock, my confidence stepped down a notch. While Joe set up the ropes, I surveyed the rock, looking for some magical path upward of hand and foot holds. I questioned myself and how I was actually going to scale this rock. I must be out of my mind. The realization dawned on me that this was not going to be a Disney ride--no secret handholds quietly disguised along the way to aid me. Darn it.

Maverick went first. His trip up to the 100+ foot ledge was slow going but sure-footed. With Joe providing directions on where to put his left foot or a good spot to secure his right hand, Maverick faltered a bit at the bottom. He then found his way to the top. He conquered his first leg of the mountain. He was thrilled.

Next was my turn. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I eagerly waited while Joe attached a rope to my harness. He had wanted me to tie my own knot, which he had just shown us, but I informed him I didn't trust my life to my own knot, thank you very much.

"On bolay, " I announced. "Bolay on, climb."

I assessed the rock. Pitched at a 70-75 degree angle (which when you're standing next to it feels like 90 degrees!) I looked at the base for somewhere to take my first step. The key is to find a good foothold and lift your body weight up once you get the foot secure. In some places on the way up, there were cracks in the rock that provided a great spot to anchor your hands and pull yourself up too. Mostly, there wasn't much more than smooth stone with horizontal cracks from water running down the rock. I had to rely on my elf shoes to grab the rock while my hands were pressed into the stone and I just prayed they'd stick like glue.

My left foot found a good resting place and I hoisted myself up one foot. Good job, Tracy. One foot down, ninety-nine more to go! My right foot found a tiny crevice in the rock and I inched higher. Left foot, right foot, up I go!, keep going, and then about fifteen feet up, stop!

There wasn't anywhere to go. I couldn't figure out where to go next. Joe and Maverick were shouting suggestions but none seemed to be working. I slid myself right, trying to reach a small crack that may have offered reprieve,to no avail. I was stuck. My confidence took another backward step down the Adventure Girl meter and stopped on "Whimpy". I faltered, not sure what to do next and contemplated just going back down.

"No whimpiness here!" I chastised myself and willed my body to continue. A new spot suddenly came into my view and I found my footing to move upward. I was thrilled. I continued moving slowly up the rock with the verbal guidance of Joe. Another ten feet up and again, I was stuck.

This time I couldn't get my feet to stick to the rock. I reached left and tried to grab right, to no avail. I tried a hail mary pass to throw my weight at the rock three feet over (and hoped to stick like spiderman) but instead, lost my balance and my footing and slipped. I dangled from the rope and slammed my body into the rock, 25 feet up.

Maverick shouted up to make sure I was okay. I was okay but my confidence was shot. The Adventure Girl meter slammed down to the bottom of the scale. It read "Loser girl, go home and resume couch potato position."

I was perspiring, panting and quite frankly feeling scared. What was I thinking? I was thinking how when I get into something, it's either all or nothing with me. Jumping into climbing a rock like this was slightly nuts and definitely "all in." My fight or flee instinct begged me to shout "coming down!" but I just couldn't do it.

I truly wanted to conquer this challenge and I knew there was absolutely NO way I'd let Maverick be the only one to do it. I wouldn't allow myself give up. I am Adventure Girl! I will make it to the top and see the spectacular view that was awaiting me.

I got back on my feet and slowly made my way to the top. I grunted and moaned and scraped up my knee but I ignored it all and thought of nothing else but the rock. When I hit the top of the ridge, I stood up, turned around and took in the unbelievable view of green mountains as far as my eyes could see. Then I raised my arms into a "see my big biceps" pose and shouted like Tarzan.

Adventure Girl survived day two in the action-adventure trip I requested. I absolutely loved it!

PS. We forgot our camera but took a few on the I-phone. Here's just a few:
Top photo: Joe setting up our ropes on Looking Glass Rock
2nd photo: The view from our high point

I asked for an adventure vacation

Action-Adventure Day 1

So, here we are in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina. Today, we went Canyoneering. Basically, it's repelling down canyons (today we repelled down a gorge), traversed through water and then rock climbed back up. Yep, that's me, climbing back up the gorge. I surprised even myself doing it well. A few times on the way up, I nervously laughed to myself: "Am I outta my freaking mind?"

After a three-mile hike and canyoneering, we came upon a gorgeous waterfall that absolutely rivaled any I saw along the Hana Highway in Maui. The only way to get to the basin of this waterfall is to rappel down a 70 ft cliff. Here's the 75-foot reward that was waiting:
If five hours of this wasn't enough, we then made our way down to the Green River for a two+hour kayak ride. The river had some good momentum, with nice little class II rapids. Enough to enable Maverick and I to have a good laugh if we got stuck in the middle of a rapid (the water was fairly shallow) but not too consuming that I couldn't just lay back in the canoe at times and let the current take me where it will.

A few spots were hairy and I got stuck on a some rocks. This photo is one of the rapids I rocked on! I cut my kayak perfectly around every protruding boulder and gained some decent speed. Afterward, I raised my paddle and let out a loud victory hoot!

By the time we were done, it was past 6pm. We had started our adventure at 9am; and we were completely exhausted but happy. This is Maverick & I at the end of the kayak trip. We were planning our exit to the closest Starbucks.


We're back in our hotel room now, eating room service and downing Motrin like Halloween candy. Tomorrow, we're back out at 8am for a full day of rock climbing. Hopefully, my muscles will make a full recovery. I have a feeling I'm going to sleep really well tonight. Goodnight.

Vacation surprise

Tomorrow I'm leaving on my anniversary vacation and Maverick planned the entire trip in secrecy.

Originally, we were planning it together. I wanted rain forest; he wanted fishing. Unfortunately, it's impossible to find fish in a rain forest. After several attempts to decide on a vacation-spot together, I threw up my hands. Maverick decided to make all the arrangements himself and completely leave me out of the decision-making.

At first, I thought his idea to keep the destination secret was brilliant. I have absolutely no idea where we are going. I only know the planned activities. While the concept of a “complete surprise” was charming at the beginning, now I’m finding it quite the opposite.

What if I don’t have the right shoes? That would be a tragedy. So, maybe I’m exaggerating…just a little. (Yes, I can already hear you laughing at this one, snickering about what I would do if I don’t have the right color-coordinated flip- flop…!)

I know I could just buy whatever I forget; but in my new age of “I deserve it, but I’m still not buying it”, I’m going to try to make do with whatever I have. We’ll see how that goes.

Not having the right clothes is only a small part of it. I hate not knowing. The simple fact is that I hate secrets, unless I’m in on the secret. It’s killing me that everyone around me seems to know where I’m going. They taunt me and drop hints. But collectively, everyone’s hints make no sense, but I'm guessing it's an evil plot to
confuse me.

I don’t like to not have the opportunity to research our destination. Part of the excitement of any trip is scouring the internet, reading travel blogs and studying trip advisor to seek out the out-of-the-way treasures not in the guidebooks and the off the beaten path.

Truthfully, the main reason I hate not knowing is because it kills me to not be in control. I have absolutely no say in anything. And that goes against my grain. Maverick is enjoying this part of the secret and milking it for all he can:

What time is our flight? “Why does it matter? We'll get there when we get there.”
What’s the weather like? “We'll definitely be having some weather. May be hot; may be cold.”
Should I pack fancy clothes or casual clothes for dinner? “Yes”
What about our daytime activities you planned? “You’ll either absolutely love them, or you’ll die trying.”


I know we’re going canyoneering, hiking, mountain biking and river kayaking. I asked for an outdoorsy, thrill-packed adventure trip. I know Maverick's going to surpass any expectations. I know it will be fantastic. My husband's always over-the-top, so I don't expect anything less from him this time. I'm actually very excited, albeit anxious, to go.

For the record, I really don't want to know the secret, even though I’ve been hassling him to tell me. I’m just very excited to have him all to myself for five days. Just us. However, I am going to give you my top 3guesses, so just in case I’m right, you’ll be my witness. I'll let you know where it is when I get back.

1) Utah
2) Colorado
3) North Carolina

For those of you that don’t know where I’m going, I’ll be sure to twitter as soon as I know. :)