I’m addicted to Starbucks. I love my coffee but it absolutely kills me that I spend almost $4.50 every single day on my quad grande non-fat three equal latte. The fact remains that I can’t seem to give it up either.
Believe me, I’ve tried to like Dunkin’ Donuts or McDonald’s but they’re too weak. I also have tried to brew my own to no avail either. I’ve tried different coffee brands, different grinds and even different coffee pots. In my quest to either replicate my Starbucks or find a suitable alternative, I’ve picked up enough coffee makers to open Tracy’s Coffee Bar. I counted a Gevalia pot that came free with a trial subscription to their coffee of the month club. I also have both a Bodum electric French press and a manual French press. I have my original Mister Coffee 12-cup pot and a large party size 48-cup pot. I have a Kerieg single cup coffee maker and a Starbucks single to-go-cup coffee maker, and my Krups 12 cup coffee maker with a warming carafe. Not to mention the old espresso maker parked in the back of the pantry we got as a wedding gift. None of these seem to satisfy me.
For Hanukkah, our friend bought us an espresso maker. At first, I loved it. It does make perfect foam and is easy enough to use, but unless I invest in a espresso maker that very expensive, I’m never going to get the right amount of pressure to brew the perfect cup. That sits on the counter looking pretty and unused now.
Sometimes I wonder if Starbucks includes just the tiniest bit of crack in their blend. That would explain my addiction. It's like the yummiest tasting crack in a cup, every so slightly sweetened. It’s not the caffeine because I can drink four shots and go right to bed afterward. It’s just the flavor. I just love the dark, rich, almost burned taste. It wouldn’t be so bad if I at least limited myself to the morning commute cup. Now, however, in the afternoons, I’m driving over for a mid-day iced drink too.
I’ve even got Maverick hooked. The guy never even drank coffee until he shacked up with me. Plus, I think I’m creating a monster in my five-year old. Surprisingly, Camryn loves Starbucks too. Most of my adult friends can’t stomach my four-shot drink but Camryn would drink it all if I let her. For now, I only let her have her favorite vanilla milk. Between the three of us, we have a family fortune going down the drain to one benefactor. We stopped calling it Starbucks and refer to it lovingly as FourBucks. Maybe calling it more than three thousand a year bucks would be more appropriate.
I’d be much happier if my gym knew me by name instead of all the baristas who ask if I’m having “the usual” when I walk in. For Maverick, they special order his favorite yogurt. I even have my very own Starbucks Black card, which saves me 10% on every drink. The card makes me feel special, like my own American Express Black Card for coffee drinkers, though not as many perks. It would be great if it also had perks like my own personal concierge, or a home barista would be nice. I think I’ll submit that idea to Starbucks. Maybe I should run over there now and pitch my suggestion. While I’m at it, I might as well pick up an afternoon iced coffee too. And the vicious cycle of addiction continues…
Monday, June 22, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Botox Virgins
I cracked up the other night watching my favorite summer show, So You Think You Can Dance, when one of the judges, Mary Murphy, admitted that she couldn’t make a particular expression because her face was stiff from too much Botox. Ahah! I knew something was off about her, but figured it was just her horse teeth. I spent the next hour fixated on Mary’s face and clearly, she had not only SOME Botox but LOTS of Botox, evidenced by her lack of any wrinkles on her forehead, plus her inability to move her eyebrows.
A few of my friends are already toying with the idea of Botox. Just a little needle above the eyebrow and another minor touch to the lip, they say. Just a small sip of the proverbial fountain of youth. Let’s just TRY it, I hear. But I think that once you try it you can never go back...because using Botox once is like losing your virginity.
I lost my virginity to a boy named Howard. Yes, sadly, he didn’t even have a better nickname, until afterwards when my friends would call him “Howwieee!” I had all the hopes and dreams of a young high school girl-- find true love and have that wonderfully tender moment when we cuddled in each other’s arms and he carefully deflowered me. But by the end of my junior year, I succumbed to hopelessness and hormones and gave it away to the boy who seemed to know what to do and could keep his mouth shut.
It wasn’t tender nor was it wonderful. It hurt like hell and then it was over. All the waiting and romanticizing vanished in under two minutes. And I realized rather quickly that I had just given up my one-and-only chance to ever have a first time again the way I had hoped.
It’s like my favorite saying about having children: Once you have a baby you can’t put it back. Same for popping your cherry and Botox. You only have one time to get it right because believe me, unless you have a bad reaction to sticking live botulism in your face (and that thought alone should disgust and dissuade anyone from doing it) you’re probably going to be hooked and now you’ve got the REST OF YOUR LIFE to continue sticking needles in your face with a nerve toxin produced by a bacteria.
Frankly, for my one friend in particular, I find your interest in Botox quite hypocritical considering what a germ freak you are. You insist on Purelling your hands twenty times a day, gag at a single crumb on the floor and have a medicine cabinet full of cleansing products to keep all those buggies off your counters, skin and children. However, you’re fully willing to inject living bacteria into your face in the name of beauty? Sheesh!
Sorry, I digress. My point is that we’re not old enough to give up our Botox virginities yet. Like my mom would tell me in high school, I have my whole life ahead of me for sex. We have our golden years ahead of us for Botox. Let’s face it: We’re not Hollywood stars (alas, Starr, you’re a star!). A few wrinkles on our faces only indicates a life well-lived. For full disclosure, I’ll admit readily that when my gobbler starts drooping to my boobs, I will be getting a neck lift. But I will stay away from the needles. So please don’t call me a hypocrite.
A few of my friends are already toying with the idea of Botox. Just a little needle above the eyebrow and another minor touch to the lip, they say. Just a small sip of the proverbial fountain of youth. Let’s just TRY it, I hear. But I think that once you try it you can never go back...because using Botox once is like losing your virginity.
I lost my virginity to a boy named Howard. Yes, sadly, he didn’t even have a better nickname, until afterwards when my friends would call him “Howwieee!” I had all the hopes and dreams of a young high school girl-- find true love and have that wonderfully tender moment when we cuddled in each other’s arms and he carefully deflowered me. But by the end of my junior year, I succumbed to hopelessness and hormones and gave it away to the boy who seemed to know what to do and could keep his mouth shut.
It wasn’t tender nor was it wonderful. It hurt like hell and then it was over. All the waiting and romanticizing vanished in under two minutes. And I realized rather quickly that I had just given up my one-and-only chance to ever have a first time again the way I had hoped.
It’s like my favorite saying about having children: Once you have a baby you can’t put it back. Same for popping your cherry and Botox. You only have one time to get it right because believe me, unless you have a bad reaction to sticking live botulism in your face (and that thought alone should disgust and dissuade anyone from doing it) you’re probably going to be hooked and now you’ve got the REST OF YOUR LIFE to continue sticking needles in your face with a nerve toxin produced by a bacteria.
Frankly, for my one friend in particular, I find your interest in Botox quite hypocritical considering what a germ freak you are. You insist on Purelling your hands twenty times a day, gag at a single crumb on the floor and have a medicine cabinet full of cleansing products to keep all those buggies off your counters, skin and children. However, you’re fully willing to inject living bacteria into your face in the name of beauty? Sheesh!
Sorry, I digress. My point is that we’re not old enough to give up our Botox virginities yet. Like my mom would tell me in high school, I have my whole life ahead of me for sex. We have our golden years ahead of us for Botox. Let’s face it: We’re not Hollywood stars (alas, Starr, you’re a star!). A few wrinkles on our faces only indicates a life well-lived. For full disclosure, I’ll admit readily that when my gobbler starts drooping to my boobs, I will be getting a neck lift. But I will stay away from the needles. So please don’t call me a hypocrite.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Top 10 Things NOT to Do on Your Girls Vacation
I just returned from a fabulous girls trip to Santa Fe. Lucky for me, I have another one mid-summer as well with another group. The more I talk to girlfriends who take vacations with their friends, the more I realize there’s a common thread of annoyances among us. Here’s the top 10 things to NOT do on your next girls trip (especially if you want to be invited back next year.)
1) Don’t be cheap. There’s a world of difference between frugal and cheap. When everyone else has bought a round of drinks, don’t decide you’re suddenly not thirsty when it’s your turn. Don’t try and nickel and dime the group either. If you eat out, just split the bill. If you don’t want to spend money on something, such as a massage, then don’t. Just don’t make it everyone else’s problem by complaining you have no one to hang out with while all your other girlfriends are relaxing at the spa.
2) Don’t sweat the small stuff. Whether your group consists of 3 girlfriends or 10, it’s hard for everyone to be happy with every decision the group makes. You may not love the restaurant chosen, you may not be thrilled with the spa times. Someone has made an effort to herd the flock into making a decision. It’s made, deal with it. Furthermore, when it comes to making a decision, don’t say you don’t care and then bitch once a decision is made.
3)Don’t come without cash. No one wants to stop at the bank five times because you’ve only extracted $40. Take out enough money for the entire trip so you don’t have to inconvenience the rest of us. Unless you’re lucky like me and can rely on your girlfriends to be your personal banker. (Thanks Indie & Jackie!)
4)Don’t be passive. No one wants to be in charge the entire time. Don’t be the lazy bitch who lays back waiting for everyone else to make decisions. Take ownership of one piece of the trip and work it out for the rest. Remember, this trip is for you to take a vacation from your real life and party with your friends. It’s not an excuse for you remove yourself from reality and rely on everyone else to take care of you.
5)Don’t talk about your husband and kids the whole time. These are a few of the top reasons we go away with our girlfriends in the first place: to forget about our families and responsibilities for just a little while and to think of nothing else but ourselves. If I have to listen to you yap about them the entire time, I rather stay home.
6)Don’t burden your friends. When I’m on my girls trip, I want to do what’s good for me, when it’s good for me. For as long as I feel like it, without strings attached. So if you’re fried at the pool and I want to catch more rays, just go off alone. Don’t try to convince me to leave with you. We don’t have to be attached at the hip. Thanks.
7)Don’t assume everyone would be potentially good girls-trip comrades. This point goes back to my “Saturday Night Worthy” post. It’s one thing to spend an evening with a girlfriend. It’s another thing to consider sharing a room with her. There’s only so many girls I can even imagine traveling with. If you're not sure if she's girls-trip worthy, include her on your next overnight trip. Don't kill your whole vacation to learn you were wrong.
8)Don’t judge. It’s amazing what you learn about your girlfriends while you’re away. One may hoard the bacon and another may flirt incessantly with cute boys. It’s all part of the experience but probably not what she does on a normal basis. No one needs to hear your critical catty comments. Let her have her fun. Letting loose is what it’s all about.
9) Don’t be high-maintenance. Stop asking what we’re doing next. Stop checking out your hair. Stop asking me if you have the right clothes on. Stop relying on me to help you make decisions. It doesn’t matter what time we finish what we’re doing nor do we need to plan every minute of the day. Relax. That’s the whole point. If you need a formal agenda, feel free to write that up yourself. Just don’t hold me to it.
The last and golden rule is:
10)Don’t tell your other friends how great your girls trip was. Breaking this rule is a sure-fire way to alienate your friends who were not included. Furthermore, when they hear how much fun you had, they’ll expect to be included the next time. The same is true for husbands. Surely your man can live a long, happy life without knowing all the details. Plus, you’re friends probably don’t want you spilling the beans to your husband. I know it can be a hard rule to live by, but just remember the old adage “whatever happens in Vegas…”.
Anyone disagree?
1) Don’t be cheap. There’s a world of difference between frugal and cheap. When everyone else has bought a round of drinks, don’t decide you’re suddenly not thirsty when it’s your turn. Don’t try and nickel and dime the group either. If you eat out, just split the bill. If you don’t want to spend money on something, such as a massage, then don’t. Just don’t make it everyone else’s problem by complaining you have no one to hang out with while all your other girlfriends are relaxing at the spa.
2) Don’t sweat the small stuff. Whether your group consists of 3 girlfriends or 10, it’s hard for everyone to be happy with every decision the group makes. You may not love the restaurant chosen, you may not be thrilled with the spa times. Someone has made an effort to herd the flock into making a decision. It’s made, deal with it. Furthermore, when it comes to making a decision, don’t say you don’t care and then bitch once a decision is made.
3)Don’t come without cash. No one wants to stop at the bank five times because you’ve only extracted $40. Take out enough money for the entire trip so you don’t have to inconvenience the rest of us. Unless you’re lucky like me and can rely on your girlfriends to be your personal banker. (Thanks Indie & Jackie!)
4)Don’t be passive. No one wants to be in charge the entire time. Don’t be the lazy bitch who lays back waiting for everyone else to make decisions. Take ownership of one piece of the trip and work it out for the rest. Remember, this trip is for you to take a vacation from your real life and party with your friends. It’s not an excuse for you remove yourself from reality and rely on everyone else to take care of you.
5)Don’t talk about your husband and kids the whole time. These are a few of the top reasons we go away with our girlfriends in the first place: to forget about our families and responsibilities for just a little while and to think of nothing else but ourselves. If I have to listen to you yap about them the entire time, I rather stay home.
6)Don’t burden your friends. When I’m on my girls trip, I want to do what’s good for me, when it’s good for me. For as long as I feel like it, without strings attached. So if you’re fried at the pool and I want to catch more rays, just go off alone. Don’t try to convince me to leave with you. We don’t have to be attached at the hip. Thanks.
7)Don’t assume everyone would be potentially good girls-trip comrades. This point goes back to my “Saturday Night Worthy” post. It’s one thing to spend an evening with a girlfriend. It’s another thing to consider sharing a room with her. There’s only so many girls I can even imagine traveling with. If you're not sure if she's girls-trip worthy, include her on your next overnight trip. Don't kill your whole vacation to learn you were wrong.
8)Don’t judge. It’s amazing what you learn about your girlfriends while you’re away. One may hoard the bacon and another may flirt incessantly with cute boys. It’s all part of the experience but probably not what she does on a normal basis. No one needs to hear your critical catty comments. Let her have her fun. Letting loose is what it’s all about.
9) Don’t be high-maintenance. Stop asking what we’re doing next. Stop checking out your hair. Stop asking me if you have the right clothes on. Stop relying on me to help you make decisions. It doesn’t matter what time we finish what we’re doing nor do we need to plan every minute of the day. Relax. That’s the whole point. If you need a formal agenda, feel free to write that up yourself. Just don’t hold me to it.
The last and golden rule is:
10)Don’t tell your other friends how great your girls trip was. Breaking this rule is a sure-fire way to alienate your friends who were not included. Furthermore, when they hear how much fun you had, they’ll expect to be included the next time. The same is true for husbands. Surely your man can live a long, happy life without knowing all the details. Plus, you’re friends probably don’t want you spilling the beans to your husband. I know it can be a hard rule to live by, but just remember the old adage “whatever happens in Vegas…”.
Anyone disagree?
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