This past weekend, I wanted to spend my morning relaxing on the couch with a cup of coffee and the Sunday paper. As I settled into my seat and took a moment to breathe, I noticed a cobweb in the corner of my ceiling. After swiping it away with a duster, I then saw three other things that demanded my attention before I sat back down. Before I realized it, my entire morning was eaten up by a dozen other things I had to get done before I actually could sit down and relax.
I realize I fill several hours a day on my weekends doing what a friend coined “Invisible Work.” When I first heard the term, I laughed out loud, I loved it so much. Invisible Work. It’s all the stuff I did around my house each and every day that no one notices gets done except for me.
In a nutshell, Invisible Work is everything we women do every day that’s completely oblivious to our spouses, partners and children. Nobody thanks us for it. It never receives any recognition (unless of course, it’s not done and then it’s visible). It’s the work that fills our day and keeps us from doing what we’d rather do.
IW is putting away laundry, holiday decorations, or sorting socks. IW is going through your kid’s drawer to determine what’s stained, what still fits and what needs to be given away. IW is pulling down everything off the wall unit and cleaning the dust that the cleaning girl doesn’t seem to find. IW is washing the rugs in the bathroom, organizing the pantry, separating the crayons and markers into two containers. Replacing the air fresheners or scrapbooking your kids mementos, your husband’s fishing trip pictures and cleaning out the freezer. It’s writing out your 2009 calendar to ensure you have everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries properly marked. Writing thank you notes, RSVP’ing to the kids invitations. Brushing your dog’s teeth. Wiping down baseboards. Scrubbing paint off the back of the chair. Wiping down the countertops for the tenth time in a day.
Men aren’t as conscious about Invisible Work. They must need special glasses to see it or maybe they’re missing a chromosome for it, but I generally don’t hear about too many men that busy themselves with IW on a daily basis. I can’t imagine many guys who miss Sunday football because they were too preoccupied with IW.
I believe that’s why men and women fight so much. Men think we do nothing all day when women can actually fill their entire life with tons of Invisible Work. IW infuriates the kids too, because it’s all the IW I have to do that keeps me from spending enough quality time with my kids. IW never goes away and there’s always more to do.
That's the perfect arguement for 3-day weekends. I would spend my Friday getting all my IW out of the way, so I actually could read the newspaper and finish my cross-word puzzle. Imagine that...
Some men actually do understand the "Invisible Work" thing and actually appreciate the IW that you do. There is also this thing called VWITO or "Visible Work Invisible to Others". This is the stuff that is done throughout the week, pick up the kids from school, clean their backpacks, put their junk away, cook dinner, bath them, ensure they are not bored, clean the floor, chair and wall from dinner, getting them to clean their playroom before mom comes home and has to do IW on the weekend, oh I replaced those Air freshners and the light bulbs, did you notice the one in the garage, how about those in the kitchen, fixed the light switches, installed wireless light switch, fixed the pool and the cabinet, oh, and re-organized the pantry that you just supposedly organized as part of your IW.
ReplyDeleteSo, as you believe that the IW is never appreciated, I also believe that the VWITO is also under-appreciated. It's a vicious circle that keeps a marriage exciting and my weekends free of IW.