Everyday is Cancer Prevention Day

Did you know that February is National Cancer Prevention Month? It’s great to have a month dedicated to the awareness of how we can prevent such a horrible disease.

For me however, every day is cancer prevention day. It began ten years ago when I learned I have the BRCA gene mutation, and my risk of breast cancer suddenly skyrocketed to upwards of 85%.

I can clearly remember sitting in the genetic oncologist's office when the doctor confirmed my DNA testing. The doctor was so kind. She sat right next to me at a small conference table.  As she gently explained the details of my diagnosis and armed me with the basic information, she also wrote her instructions in longhand on a yellow legal tablet. She knew I was barely grasping every fourth word...breast exams and ultrasounds, blood tests, Tamoxifen, mastectomy, hysterectomy, increased ovarian cancer. As her words filled the air,  I looked down to see Brian supportively rubbing my arm, yet I couldn't connect the sensation of his touch on my skin. I was numb.

We left the doctor's office, silently clutching the doctor's notes and a stack of pamphlets. I didn’t even cry. Not sure what to do with ourselves next, Brian and I stopped at the closest bar. Over cocktails, I bitched aloud about my shitty roll of the genetic dice.  I had just turned 37.

The tears came later of course. I wallowed in self-pity for a day or two. I felt helpless with the knowledge that at any point, cancer cells could begin to grow in my chest. I had witnessed firsthand my mother’s battle.  She had just finished up yet another surgery to remove her second breast with cancer. (It was actually her third instance of cancer but that's another story.) Always the optimist, she pointed out that while nothing could alter my genetics, I could take matters into my own hands. She reminded me I'd feel better if I was in control of IT, rather that IT in control of me. Damn, my mom knew me so well.

I thought of her words and considered maybe the BRCA gene wasn't necessarily all bad news.  I couldn't help that I had the predisposition for cancer, but I could decide how I was going to handle my situation. Worrying about it was a waste of time. I can't see the trouble coming. I could only hold myself accountable for decreasing that 85% risk to any number less than that.

I always had wanted to make big changes to my lifestyle but never could find the discipline. All the good intentions I've ever had...eat better, exercise regularly...they never lasted. I could never commit to any long-term goal related to my health. I couldn't even manage to take a multivitamin. I was a crash-dieter and sporadic exerciser at best. Quite frankly, I was lazy. Maybe this was the push I needed.

Aside of my predicament,  I thought a lot about my two daughters and their genetic makeup as well. They too could potentially carry the same faulty gene. It became even more of an imperative to emulate a healthy lifestyle for them. I wanted it to be easy and natural no-brainer to eat right and exercise.  Not the daily battle I always faced.

Putting my BRCA gene diagnosis into a perspective that it was now more important to consider my daughters’ future, changed my mental positioning. Now, I was a woman on a mission. Instead of hiding in shameful secrecy with my deleterious gene, I owned it. It gave me a direction and now I had a clear goal. I set out to change my life--and hopefully the trajectory of my girls' future as well.

Within weeks of my diagnosis, I had a double mastectomy with reconstruction. I was so fortunate they both occurred on the same operating table. If you didn't know any differently, you may not even have noticed. That decreased my risk significantly.

Then I tackled my health and fitness.

I had to learn what healthy eating looked like. I had to force myself to start exercising regularly for the first time in my life. I began just walking, until I could jog, until I could run. Running my first mile was a huge milestone, and at the same time I was annoyed that I just barely did it. But my enthusiasm bubbled over as I was doing more positive things for myself than I could ever remember.

And while I charged forward with gusto, huge life changes are difficult and require a ton of dedicated, daily focus. I fell off the wagon often, and there were plenty of times when the wagon rolled off into the distance and I had to start all over again.

With the urge to do more, I started raising money for cancer charities.  For the Susan G Komen, I earned a Pink Honor Roll Star award for my fundraising, and I was featured in a few newspapers for sharing my story as a “Pre-vivor”; The most rewarding part was as word spread through my circles of friends and acquaintances, I've had many opportunities to coach and support other women who learned they were BRCA gene carriers too. 

I never expected this outcome, but the BRCA gene empowered me. I know I wouldn’t be who I am today had I not been dealt this hand.  I’ve had to make other agonizing decisions related to my cancer risk since then, but I always remind myself that the consequences of those decisions are never as worse as the risk. My mother would often say how thankful she was that at least I have a fighting chance to not ever hear the words “You have cancer”.

Those three little words just suck. Smart people at the Moffitt Cancer Center are working extremely hard to find a cure so we can remove cancer from our vocabulary. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? My girls are counting on me and I’m doing everything I can to protect them. Just another reason I started this fundraiser. Please donate and let’s work together to eradicate cancer for all of our family and friends forever.
https://www.crowdrise.com/tracys-climb-to-combatcancer/fundraiser/tracyfives

 

Everest Base Camp Trek FAQs

In five short weeks, I’ll be leaving for Mount Everest. I can’t believe the trip I’ve spent a lifetime dreaming about will finally be a reality.  I can hardly wait!

Since I booked my excursion seven months ago, I’ve had lots of discussions with so many people about it. It seems most people don’t know of anyone who has made the trek, much less summited the top of the tallest mountain on Earth. Conversations about my itinerary, packing, planning and training abound, much to my delight. There’s an abundance of wonder and questions when people hear of my adventure.  It’s been fun to share what I’ve learned over the months, studying up for the trip. I have read dozens of books, blogs, and articles and watched every YouTube video about the trek that I can find. Here’s a few of the top questions I’ve been asked.

You're climbing Mount Everest?
No, I'm not climbing Everest at all. This is the first distinction I feel obliged to explain when people ask. Climbing indicates a much more rigorous and dangerous trip to the top. I'm taking a really long walk, or a trek, to basecamp, which is at 17,500 feet. The summit of Everest is an additional 12,000 feet up...that’s a whole other mountain. To put it in perspective, the highest peaks in the Colorado Rockies are 14,000 feet. Summiting Everest is another trip altogether which requires more resources, more time and more mountaineering skills than I possess. There’s nothing technical about a trek. It just requires putting one foot in front of the other. There are no ropes nor belaying devices.  The only real equipment needed, other than my boots, is a pack and hiking poles.

How do you train for Everest? 
A reasonably healthy and fit person can easily reach basecamp. I have regularly been exercising for years, but I did make some adjustments to my training to prepare. The most important muscles are my legs, so that I can walk the distance and climb the hills, and my core and shoulders to carry my pack.

Starting in the new year, I upped my training from four/five days a week to six days. I’m getting in three days of weightlifting at Crossfit with lots of back squats, front squats, lunges, and deadlifts.  I also do upper body work such as clean & jerks, pull ups and pushups and then a variety of core exercises. I’m getting in a few cardio days too.  I go to a class that uses a non-motorized treadmill, so my legs really have to push against the resistance.  I also do a short, interval intense run, which helps with building my VO2 max, (which helps with oxygen consumption) and then I’m getting in one long hike with my backpack filled with weights. Finally I’m practicing yoga again to help with my flexibility.  

Is all of this extra necessary, since I said a reasonably healthy person can do it? Probably not, but I’ve learned I’m much better at training for a goal than just exercising. And while the trek doesn’t require a super high level of fitness, having a solid foundation will make it that much more enjoyable.

Do you use any equipment to help train for altitude?
The biggest obstacle I’ll face is the altitude.  It’s the most difficult and underestimated aspect to the trek. Living in Florida at sea level, oxygen levels are 100%. I will experience a 50% decline in oxygen. That’s tough because I can’t train for it. People often suggest a high-altitude mask, which I originally thought sounded like a good idea. However, the goal of high-altitude training is to increase the hemoglobin in your blood and the mask simply makes it harder to breathe. (Plus it looks absolutely ridiculous!)

I do wear a weighted training vest for my cardio. The vest has individual sandbags so I can adjust the amount of weight for my workout. When I wear the vest (or ruck with weights in my backpack) I burn a ton of calories and it is as cardio- efficient as a long, slow run. Plus it helps build my hiking endurance and my legs.

What kind of gear do you bring?
Buying the right gear has been one of the most fun and most aggravating parts of getting ready for a trip like this one. Living in South Florida, outdoor stores here mainly stock hunting, fishing and camping gear, so I’ve become quite the online shopper.  REI (which is the Whole Foods of the outdoor gear world) has sent a steady stream of boxes to my house as I’ve bought, tested, and returned dozens of jackets, pants, gloves, base layers, mid-layers and hard shells.

I got a four-page packing list from my trekking company--seemed easy enough. But the temperatures will vary from short-sleeve warm weather potentially down to zero, so I have to be prepared for it all. From a light mid-layer jacket to a raincoat to a parka, I’ve got five coats to protect me. I have pant layers in varying degrees of warmth too—light trekking pants, leggings, fleece pants, insulated pants and hard shell rain pants. I need tank tops, short sleeves, long sleeves, and fleece. I never was a great packer to begin with and I’m only allowed to bring 44 pounds. That doesn’t seem like much, considering I also have an inflatable mattress, a sleeping bag, solar charger, Ipad, cameras, water filtration system and backpack. Luckily, much of the equipment is super light, which is important when every extra ounce matters.

Are you worried about altitude sickness?
Short answer - No. I cannot anticipate how I will be affected so I just don’t worry about it. Olympic athletes have suffered AMS (acute mountain sickness) and regular people can feel just fine. You can ascend ten mountains, no problem, and then suffer. Altitude sickness can be as simple as a mild headache or nausea. But true AMS is life-threatening. If a medic deems you to have AMS, they’ll literally run you down the mountain to get you to a lower elevation. That’s the worst of it.

There are a few things we do to ensure our safety.  First, we eat a lot of carbs. I’m really good at feeding my body rice and pasta. Second, we have to drink copious amounts of fluid. This is tougher. Drinking 5-6 liters of water a day makes me more nervous than the thought of an avalanche destroying basecamp. We have to purify our own water after its boiled. I’m sure that tastes delicious. Luckily, I’m prepared with electrolyte tablets that make the water taste better.

We take a leisurely nine days to ascend to basecamp, allowing plenty of time to acclimatize. The motto is trek high, sleep low. Each day as we climb to even higher altitudes, each evening we descend to sleep. Twice we stay put in the same teahouse for two nights to help adjust as well. On those days, we will hike to higher altitudes and then descend again to our beds.

I will be fine. Or I will not. And in case of emergency, I have a prescription for Diamox that hopefully will help.

Who will be on the trek with you?
I’m very fortunate to be trekking with my friend and racing partner, Jean. I have also “met” three other women on our tour so far and we’ve been in communication fairly regularly. (I can’t wait to meet them in person!). Up to ten other guests in all will be on the trek. Then, there’s the staff: We’ll have two to three American guides. I expect that one of them will have summited Everest. Then, there’s the Sherpa, the porters and the cooks. The staff is headed to basecamp to get the camp ready for the team behind us that will be shooting to reach the summit in May. Up to 25 people will be in our caravan, along with the yaks.

Is there Wi-Fi? How will you communicate?
I knew there is Wifi in most of the villages on the way to basecamp, but I was surprised to learn there is Wifi at basecamp as well. However, all the internet services on the route and in the region is provided by one company, so if it goes down (which is not uncommon) it all goes down.  I will be posting pictures and hopefully videos on my journey.

Are you scared?
Everyone knows of the terrible storm on Mt. Everest back in 1996 when eight mountaineers died. And in 2005, a 7.6 magnitude earthquake rocked Nepal, which in turn triggered a massive avalanche at basecamp, killing 22 people. This spot is where I’ll be sleeping for two nights.

But no, I’m not scared of a blizzard or earthquake or avalanche. I think my odds of dying in a car crash are much greater. I cannot worry about what I cannot control. It’s just not worth my energy, so I don’t think about it. A bigger concern is to never let the yaks get between me and the mountain. They could push me off the cliff. That’s much more likely, along with digestive issues, altitude sickness, freezing temperatures, loss of appetite, swollen knees, dehydration, migraines, and even breaking my ankle. Those concerns much more top of mind.

Finally, WHY Everest?
This basic question is always asked of me and I struggle to find the briefest answer.  Sometimes I just default to George Mallory, the first to attempt to summit Everest: “Because it’s there!” But that’s not really the whole story.

A much less famous quote of his holds the answer for me. “It’s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” One my mother’s greatest gifts to me was her enduring faith in my skills and abilities. Her love and encouragement has enabled me to overcome my insecurities and tackle so many challenges in my life. I anticipate this trek will be the hardest, most challenging and most rewarding experience of my life. I can’t conquer Everest on pure strength alone. It will take mental grit to push past pain or decreased oxygen or nausea. More than any other time, when I’m pushing my body and my mental grit, be it obstacle racing or summiting Half Dome in Yosemite, I feel more alive and more powerful internally than at any other moment. I love this opportunity to push the envelope of my own limitations.

My beautiful mother also bestowed to me her insane love of travel, but never had the chance to see all of the amazing destinations she dreamed about. I’m going to Everest because I’m healthy and capable now.  Life is short and we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so I’m going. She’d be the first person to tell me “go for it!”

I’m going to honor my mother by leaving some of her remains at the highest point I reach. Even if I have to crawl, she and I will sit on the summit of nearby Kala Pattar, 18,300 feet, to witness the sun rise over the top of Everest. She didn’t get to experience the Himalayas with her own eyes, but she will live on in spirit at a place very few people ever get to see.

EBC Trek Nitty Gritty: The Journey

The response I've gotten so far regarding my trip to Everest has been overwhelming. People's attitudes have ranged on the spectrum from questioning my sanity to wishing they could join me. Above all, people have been fascinated and curious about the itinerary, the gear, the training, and such, so I thought that I would share some high-level, nitty-gritty information.

The journey will last for 22 days, including travel time. Don't even ask me how I got Brian to agree to this. Suffice it to say, he's just awesome. Leaving on March 24, 2017, I will fly from Florida to New York to Qatar then to Kathmandu, Nepal. After a few days of touring and logistics we will begin the trek to Everest Base Camp (EBC). You can find the full schedule here EBC Trek Itinerary.

The roundtrip milage is about 75. It's not necessarily the milage that makes the journey tough. It's the altitude. From Kathmandu, I'll fly into the world's most dangerous airport in Lukla and start our actual trek at 9,300 ft. Over the course of 9 days, we'll hike to EBC, with an elevation of 17,500ft. We will stop along the way and spend two nights in Namche at 11,300 feet to acclimatize.  We also spend two nights at 14,000 feet. The mantra is "hike high, sleep low," so every day I'll hike up, then actually descend to sleep. Even the days we stay put, I will be required to take a leisurely 3-hour hike to get some altitude in and then sleep lower. I've never been at an altitude higher than Yosemite at 10,000 feet.

The company I hired, Alpine Ascents, first business is getting mountaineers to the top of Everest. I'm excited that my US guide probably has summited once or several times. We'll also be accompanied by Sherpas and porters and yaks will carry my things. I only need a daypack on my back. I'm hoping to keep my extra clothes, water, snacks, etc to less than 25 pounds.

We will sleep in Sherpa village tea houses along the way. The travel brochure says this will give me "a rare look into both the traditional and monastic communities," but after doing my research, that's the marketing words for "there isn't another choice". These teahouses are surely not the Ritz Carlton, so I'm simply hoping for warm and inviting. They look perfectly lovely enough. The farther up the mountain we go, the more rustic the accommodations. All supplies, food and fuel must be carried up. There's no roads and no power lines, so lighting is solar and stoves are fueled by dried yak poo. I'm sure that smells fantastic.  In these remote regions, the temperature is colder and there's no insulation, so I'll be cuddled up in my parka, in my -20-degree sleeping bag with my hot water bottle between my legs keeping me warm. I don't even want to discuss the bathroom situation. Suffice it to say, it too gets more rustic as we go along. Same goes for the showers. I may just be too darn cold to even care about a shower.

Once we get to Everest Base Camp, I'll be staying two nights in the Alpine Ascents' seasonal tent camp.  Each mountaineering company sets up their own camps, much like you probably saw in the movie Everest or read in one of my favorite books, Into Thin Air, by Jon Krakauer. This is another reason I chose this company. (Many other trekking companies just "stop by" EBC, take a picture and leave!) Here, I'll get the opportunity to meet the people who will be summiting and the Alpine Ascents support team that help the climbers reach their goals. I figure, if I can't summit myself, the next best thing is to hangout with them!

Interestingly, I have learned that you cannot actually see the summit of Everest from base camp. There's another mountain in the way. So on our way out of EBC, I'll wake at 3am and attempt to summit a nearby mountain, Kala Patthar, elevation 18,300ft.  It's a small peak by Himalayan standards, but has excellent views of Everest and many of the well-known Everest photos are taken here. Hopefully, if all goes as planned, I'll watch the sunrise come up over Everest from the summit of Kala Patthar on April 8th. My heart skips a beat just writing that sentence!

It's all down hill from there. Four days back to Lukla, hoping the weather cooperates for a quick, easy flight and then back to Kathmandu. It will be a glorious, hot, long and hard-earned shower upon return.

Cross #1 off my list: I'm going to Mount Everest

I've got incredible news: I am going to Mount Everest. That seems like the most ridiculous thing I could say, (and plenty of people have told me so) but somehow the concept rings very sane and logical to me.

I'm going to trek to Everest Base Camp. I haven't yet tired of saying those words aloud. I still can't quite believe it. At 17,500 feet above sea level,  this trip has been at the top of my bucket list since my first iphone when I committed a list in my Notes.

Everyone has asked me why it's held the #1 spot. It's not necessarily because it's the hardest item on my list because BASE jumping is really out of the question,  but somehow the tallest above-sea-level mountain half the world away in Nepal seemed like the most unattainable place I could imagine since I was a girl.  Of course, I also yearn for hiking Machu Picchu, seeing the penguins march in Antarctica, exploring a remote civilization in the Amazon jungle, and watching the Aurora Borealis from an Icelandic glacier, but the awe-inspiring peak of Everest, at 29,029 feet, has captivated me above all else. Summiting Everest is as unlikely as BASE jumping, but trekking to Base Camp isn't in the same realm. It's actually achievable. Now I'm on a mission.

March 2017, I'm going to shoot for the stars, top of the list, king of the hill, A number one and make my dream come true. I'm planning and preparing and researching and training. And I'm hoping above all else, that along with my determination, enthusiasm, grit and all-in mentality, I will make it.  Wish me luck!

What's with the Facebook Friends?

I haven’t been doing much updating on Twitter nor Facebook lately. I felt as if I was getting swept up in the documenting of my every move and wasn’t spending enough time living in the moment. Plus, it got annoying trying to keep with friends I honestly didn’t care about anymore. It started to feel like an obligatory waste of time to comment on their status updates, look at their funny photos and answer the dumb quiz "how well do you know so-and-so?"requests.

When I finally decided to reconnect again, I found several pending friend requests to administer. I love getting friend requests. About the time I hit 250 on my list, I figured I’d maxed out. I couldn’t think of another person I cared to get into contact with again. But alas, I’m now over 350 as people still keep popping out of the woodwork.

As I was weeding through the friend requests, a few oddities jumped out at me. This is what I just don’t get about Facebook friending:

• Why do people who don’t know me want to be my friend? I don’t care that we have six friends in common. If we’re not friends in the real world, I don’t want to be your friend in cyberspace. I’ve got enough people to keep up with, much less the ones I don’t know.


• If you send me a friend request, why don’t you write something to me too? Whenever I send a friend request, I always include a personal message. If I bother to request your friendship, that means I do care what you're up to and I would like to catch up. I don’t understand why people bother if they truly don't have a word to say to me. What’s the point?


• Let’s also not extend our rekindled online friendship past the line that the real-life friendship existed within. For example, I got a friend request from a girl with whom I went to elementary school. We were friends back then, but were not friends into junior high or high school. I was happy to reconnect and catch up on those early days via a few back and forth messages. But enough is enough. I don’t want to exert any more energy on a friendship I willingly gave up more than 30 (!) years ago; but she doesn’t seem to take the hint. That’s freaking annoying!


• Then there’s the friends you find again, truly want to put in some effort to reconnect with, but neither of you will go out on a limb to take the next step. I’ve been playing it with a few friends—it’s called the “You Call Me” game. It goes like this: “Hey! Great to see you here! It’s been a zillion years! Call me at 555-1212”. Then the reply message says: “Great to see you too! Kids are adorable. Call me at 444-1313.” And then you never speak (nor write) again.

What about you? I'd love to hear your annoyances with Facebook.

The Compliance Manager

Ya know when you’re alone in your car, driving at night, and you feel a tiny little dried-up booger sitting at the edge of your nostril. You look around for a tissue or some other scrap of paper to extract the little bugger but can’t find a thing. So you do what everyone else would do when they think no one is looking—you pick it.

What a jerk you feel like—looking all around you, hoping (praying!) no one saw what you just did as you toss the offending slime out the window. I’ve done it. I’ll admit it. And I have a whole laundry list of other indiscretions I’d admit to if cornered, but I prefer to keep them to myself.

Now, I’ve got a seven-year-old at my side who keeps track of and admonishes my gross/weird/sometimes slightly borderline illegal little habits, insecurities and tendencies.

I call her the “The Compliance Manager.” She’s the kid who follows me around and reminds me when I’m bending or breaking the rules, not following her pre-established guidelines for being a good person or to let me know when there’s a big, fat elephant in the room.

“Two hands on the wheel mom!”
“You went to the restroom awfully quick. Are you sure you washed your hands?”
“You stole those pictures from a website?”
“Shouldn’t you take your makeup off before you go to bed?”
“Why do you pretend you’re not home when you’re sitting right next to the phone?”
“Can you eat those crackers before you pay for them?
“That shirt doesn’t look good on you, mom. I can see your booby crack.”
“Why does everything have to be perfect? You're not perfect.”
“Are you allowed to use the store bathroom? That sign says 'for customers only' and you didn’t buy anything.”
“Did you really not see that person waving to you?”
“I bet you don’t want me to tell Daddy I saw you doing that!”
“Don’t lick my spoon. It has my germs. Don’t you care about germs?”
“You’re driving too fast mom!”
“Did you read the instructions?”
"Do you know what you're doing? Are you sure?"
“How can you leave the shopping cart here when the rack is right over there?”
“Will you get in trouble, mom?”
"You act all crazy when you drink wine!"
"How do you know that? Did Daddy tell you?"
"That sign said 'no u-turn!'"
"I don't think it's supposed to be/look/smell like that!"
“Why does it take you so long to look beautiful on Saturday nights?”
"Did you really just eat eight cookies? I thought our limit was three..."
“I don’t think that dress really fits… Are you sucking in your belly?”
"The sign says six items in the dressing room. Why did you sneak in twelve?"
“Are you allowed to do that?”
“Does Publix care if you wear makeup to go shopping?”
“Didn’t you wear those sweats yesterday?”
“Did Daddy/your boss/the police officer/clerk say that was okay?”
“Are you sure that will taste good if you don’t follow the recipe correctly?”
“Should you leave the dog’s diarrhea smooshed on the neighbor’s grass like that?”

And my personal favorite:
“Your butt is too big... your panties go up your crack!”

I know you can relate. I bet you have a compliance manager too. Now I have to watch everything I say and everything I do because my every move is being watched and cataloged. I must be on my best behavior. A true role-model, upstanding citizen, good deed-doer, honorable, dependable, ethical, politically correct, sterling, principled, righteous, contientious mother and set a good example for my two children at all times.

Yeah right. I’m in f@%!ing trouble.

Remembering what's important on 9-11

Today is the "anniversary" of 9-11, the downing of the World Trade Center. It seems like only yesterday that I was pregnant with Maya, watching in horror, as the towers collapsed. It was so very sad, sitting in the office with my coworkers, eyes glued to the lunchroom TV as the events unfolded. I cried a lot that day.

Every year on this day, I try to take a moment to reflect on my life and all I am thankful for. It's not often I get a chance to do that. Life gets in the way. That's what I love so much about being in the woods. In the forest, there's no deadlines or carpools or things that demand my attention other than the immediate need to put one foot in front of the other and not trip over any fallen trees branches or loose rocks.

While in Pisgah National Forest, with packs on our backs, Maverick and I hiked up the mountain to Looking Glass Rock. It was drizzling ever-so-slightly. I called upon the rain gods to not rain any harder and spoil our day.

The drizzle and the gray skies kept the temperature low but the humidity clung to the wet forest leaves. I was thrilled to walk quietly through the woods, not seeing another human being. The woods were eerily silent. I thought about how the rainforest in Hawaii was eerily silent too. And Costa Rica. I never knew how silent the forest was before, probably because I never shut up then.

I love the silence now. There's something about a quiet forest. I can't put my finger on it, but its tranquility always has the same effect on me. It wills me to take a big cleansing breath in, hold it, and slowly release. Shuuu...It's peaceful among the quiet, wet wood.

It was the very same peacefulness I experienced practicing yoga on a Maui beach at sunrise. It washes over me when I take some time to just be. Not be a mom, or an errand runner, or a dog walker, boss or wife. Just be.

And in those rare moments of peace, those slivers of time of just being, I reflect upon how very lucky I am. Yes, I can bitch about my thighs or how my commute is sucking the life out of me on a daily basis. I can complain I'm a day late on your birthday card or a dollar short. And I do, I know. Thanks for listening.

But when I'm in those moments of clarity, and on days like today, I'm thankful for so many amazing people in my life. My family and my friends. My girls, of course. My happy, healthy life. But mostly for Maverick, my very best friend and truest love. Thanks for showing me the love...and the peace, baby.

Adventure Trip: Day 3

Today's survivor challenge was a hiking/biking combination at Dupont State Forest. The itinerary sounded easy after what we had done the past two days. I can hike. I can bike. No sweat. But I never took endurance into the mix of qualities one needs to hike and bike for more than six hours. By the end of the day, I felt like I had completed a decathlon. I think I did.

The hiking part was easy for me. This was originally what I wanted to do-- to set out with my pack and hike to the top of a mountain. I've done some hiking before but it's always felt like just a taste of what hiking is really like. I've gone on nice strolls through the forest. I wanted to seriously hike.

We set out on Rocky Ridge Trail. The first section was an easy path in the heavily wooded forest. I felt like running it. It looked like the perfect trail to do that but Joe, our guide, promised me the trail would get steeper and more difficult.

Eventually it did. We inclined rather steeply and the conversation quickly lapsed as we struggled for our breath. Maverick, who stated earlier he's not into vertical climbs after one we did just yesterday, followed behind me. Though I was also winded, I practically ran anyway. I played a mental game just to see how fast I could hoof it up. I had to maneuver around slippery, loose stones, protruding tree branches and other obstacles to weave my way up the path. At times, you wouldn't even know it was a path we were following.

All around us the forest was silent and the sunlight that filtered down through the canopy of leaves above us gave the air below a surreal glow. After some time, we came out of the woods into a beautiful meadow filled with wild flowers of every color.
We took the better part of the morning to hit the top of the mountain and we were rewarded with gorgeous views of the forest. All I could see around me was clear, blue skies and greenery everywhere.

On the way back down the mountain, once we got past the steepest part, I did in fact run it. I. ran over two miles downhill. It was absolutely exhilarating. It has to be one of my best runs ever. Not only did I do well on speed and endurance, but I also had the extra challenge of jumping over tree trunks and boulders while on my way. I sat near the car until the guys made it down themselves. Maverick was not thrilled with me running by myself. I could have been eaten by a bear. Or more likely, missed the right turns to get back to the car. Luckily, my wits helped me survive and find the right paths back. I knew I would. I am Adventure Girl.

We ate lunch afterwords, while I cooled down from my run. Joe set up our mountain bikes. I surveyed the bikes and realized I may have made an error in judgment with the run. For some reason, the biking portion of this trip didn't cross my mind when I made the decision to throw a run on top of an already challenging hike. Now I was expected to spend the afternoon mountain biking. Oops.

Maverick laughed at me. He was waiting for this activity. Mountain biking was what he was super-excited to do. Joe told me much of the biking was down hill today and we were going to reward ourselves by seeing some fabulous waterfalls. That perked me up and we hopped on our bikes and began the downward descent.

The biking portion was an absolute thigh killer but so much fun. It was exhilarating to fly down the mountain on a gravel path, whipping through the woods. Maverick was hopping over tree branches and jumping holes in the ground. I just kept myself focused on not falling over while we sped down the path. The gravelly paths were scary at high speeds, especially when a rock caught in the wheels and I would remind myself not to squeeze too hard on the front break, or I would flip over the front wheel.

We biked over twelve miles and saw a handful of gorgeous waterfalls. I never knew until this weekend that North Carolina is "the land of waterfalls". We saw a triple fall and a very wide fall that we climbed under. There were waterfall slides and more waterfalls. It was an absolutely wonderful day of exercise, adventure and scenery. I loved being in nature with no thoughts of anything other than the immediate beauty in front of me.

Adventure Trip: Day 2

Sunday morning in the damp, cold Pisgah Forest, I craned my neck upward at my morning task: It was a behemoth, 600-foot-tall slab of granite called Looking Glass Rock. I, Adventure Girl, planned to climb a portion of Looking Glass Rock. The idea was to use my hands and feet (which were clad in elfin-like rubber-soled rock climbing shoes), along with my guide Joe's verbal assistance actually climb this monstrosity with my own fortitude and a single rope to catch me if I fell.

After Canyoneering yesterday, I was ready to tackle any challenge. I woke up feeling fantastic and charged. But standing at the base of the rock, my confidence stepped down a notch. While Joe set up the ropes, I surveyed the rock, looking for some magical path upward of hand and foot holds. I questioned myself and how I was actually going to scale this rock. I must be out of my mind. The realization dawned on me that this was not going to be a Disney ride--no secret handholds quietly disguised along the way to aid me. Darn it.

Maverick went first. His trip up to the 100+ foot ledge was slow going but sure-footed. With Joe providing directions on where to put his left foot or a good spot to secure his right hand, Maverick faltered a bit at the bottom. He then found his way to the top. He conquered his first leg of the mountain. He was thrilled.

Next was my turn. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I eagerly waited while Joe attached a rope to my harness. He had wanted me to tie my own knot, which he had just shown us, but I informed him I didn't trust my life to my own knot, thank you very much.

"On bolay, " I announced. "Bolay on, climb."

I assessed the rock. Pitched at a 70-75 degree angle (which when you're standing next to it feels like 90 degrees!) I looked at the base for somewhere to take my first step. The key is to find a good foothold and lift your body weight up once you get the foot secure. In some places on the way up, there were cracks in the rock that provided a great spot to anchor your hands and pull yourself up too. Mostly, there wasn't much more than smooth stone with horizontal cracks from water running down the rock. I had to rely on my elf shoes to grab the rock while my hands were pressed into the stone and I just prayed they'd stick like glue.

My left foot found a good resting place and I hoisted myself up one foot. Good job, Tracy. One foot down, ninety-nine more to go! My right foot found a tiny crevice in the rock and I inched higher. Left foot, right foot, up I go!, keep going, and then about fifteen feet up, stop!

There wasn't anywhere to go. I couldn't figure out where to go next. Joe and Maverick were shouting suggestions but none seemed to be working. I slid myself right, trying to reach a small crack that may have offered reprieve,to no avail. I was stuck. My confidence took another backward step down the Adventure Girl meter and stopped on "Whimpy". I faltered, not sure what to do next and contemplated just going back down.

"No whimpiness here!" I chastised myself and willed my body to continue. A new spot suddenly came into my view and I found my footing to move upward. I was thrilled. I continued moving slowly up the rock with the verbal guidance of Joe. Another ten feet up and again, I was stuck.

This time I couldn't get my feet to stick to the rock. I reached left and tried to grab right, to no avail. I tried a hail mary pass to throw my weight at the rock three feet over (and hoped to stick like spiderman) but instead, lost my balance and my footing and slipped. I dangled from the rope and slammed my body into the rock, 25 feet up.

Maverick shouted up to make sure I was okay. I was okay but my confidence was shot. The Adventure Girl meter slammed down to the bottom of the scale. It read "Loser girl, go home and resume couch potato position."

I was perspiring, panting and quite frankly feeling scared. What was I thinking? I was thinking how when I get into something, it's either all or nothing with me. Jumping into climbing a rock like this was slightly nuts and definitely "all in." My fight or flee instinct begged me to shout "coming down!" but I just couldn't do it.

I truly wanted to conquer this challenge and I knew there was absolutely NO way I'd let Maverick be the only one to do it. I wouldn't allow myself give up. I am Adventure Girl! I will make it to the top and see the spectacular view that was awaiting me.

I got back on my feet and slowly made my way to the top. I grunted and moaned and scraped up my knee but I ignored it all and thought of nothing else but the rock. When I hit the top of the ridge, I stood up, turned around and took in the unbelievable view of green mountains as far as my eyes could see. Then I raised my arms into a "see my big biceps" pose and shouted like Tarzan.

Adventure Girl survived day two in the action-adventure trip I requested. I absolutely loved it!

PS. We forgot our camera but took a few on the I-phone. Here's just a few:
Top photo: Joe setting up our ropes on Looking Glass Rock
2nd photo: The view from our high point